Is suicide selfish?
Maybe.
I’ve tried to be transparent, and even vocal about my struggles with mental illness, the ups-and-downs, the good and the bad days that I’ve had.
I’ve tried to be open about my struggles with depression, about my attempts to take my own life, about the things that make a lot of people uncomfortable.
One comment I’ve overheard numerous times when people talk about suicide is how selfish it is.
I hear the argument, I empathize with that perspective. I’ve lost too many friends to suicide and at times I’ve even thought to myself how impulsive of a decision it can appear to be.
But it’s a lot easier to pass that blame, isn’t it?
It’s a lot easier to say that they made a permanent decision for a temporary feeling than to admit you did nothing to help that “temporary” feeling, that you, at the end of the day, weren’t really there for them.
It’s a lot easier to say they were being selfish than to admit YOU were being selfish.
The fact of the matter is, in that moment right before you are ready to end it all, before you swallow the pills, pick up the razor or load the gun, you aren’t thinking about yourself.
You are thinking about everything else; the phone call not answered, the text message not responded to, the coffee that was cancelled, the people who swore up and down that you weren’t alone then left you.
No one who is prepared leave this world because of how much pain they’re in does it because they’re thinking of themselves, they do it because of everyone around them.
Before you say suicide is selfish, look in the mirror and make sure you can confidently say you did everything for that person to not feel like all they had was themself.
